Oh My Tinder Heart - Why I swipe Left (Yes they are arbitrary reasons but so what!!)

Oh My Tinder Heart

There are a barrage of photos to swipe from in the Tinderverse and it can be a bit overwhelming. Who am I kidding this is crazy. The things that people post as part of their profiles just blows me away.

When I first began this process I saw a lot of references to pictures of dudes with tigers, super fancy cars and the obligatory shirtless selfie. And I thought, nobody actually does that… But they do, they actually do that, all of those things. There was one dude that did all of those things in one profile. He was petting a tiger, shirtless selfies at the beach with two bikini clad ladies, then the picture in front of what looked like a Ferrari (yellow of course) and then the series of him performing various acts of masculinity (Fishing, skiing, riding a motorcycle, etc…)

Whether or not I swiped right or left typically was determined by how I am feeling that day so I figured I should come up with some automatic no go’s. And yes some of them may be arbitrary but so what! This is my Tinder experience.

Swipe Left:

·      Out of focus

·      Unexplained women in the picture

·      No pictures where I can actually see you.

·      You are holding a fish in more than one picture. What is that about? Aren't you trying to appeal to women and not other men. Cause most of us don't care how big the fish was or that it took you 5 hours to battle this beast of the ocean before you were able to reel him in all by yourself (wink wink at all by yourself).

·      Sitting in front of an expensive car. (Can we say d- bag)

·      Smoking a cigarette (I didn't realize so many people still smoked)

·      And what is up with the guy to cool or too busy to write anything about himself. He just does a short photo essay showing you how cool his life is. Wow, dude you aren’t even gonna put a little effort. Plus most of those pictures look like stock photos from Google. Who wants to really date a guy who’s life looks like a series of beer commercials and sporting events.

·      Oh and pictures of you cuddling a cat. Nope. I am a dog person and if you are a cat person we are unofficial enemies. Besides I have horrible allergies when it comes to cats so for my own safety I must take a pass.

Tinder is unofficially the land of the overshare. People just put it all out there. Like it love it or not. But there it is.

Whatever happened to the days of getting to know someone before you start telling him or her your sexual proclivities? You know where a guy used deception, flowery language and trickery to get a girl into bed. Ahh… The good ole days.